I need to stay away from the internet. I have a feeling things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. I need help.

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

Being right doesn't always make you right. Sometimes, it just doesn't matter.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Cliche. Yes. True. Yes.

Dissertation to come.
All too often life feels like a battle I can never win.

There is 1 more thing to read. If you care, leave a message requesting it and I will personally send it to you.

"Red"

“Red, red, red”, Ron thought to himself. “Why did I wait so long to buy a shirt for tonight?” He looked through shirt after shirt on the rack, but none seemed to satisfy him. Tonight was the big night. Dinner, dancing, and the biggest question he would ever ask. Ron flipped open his phone, and saw her face staring back at him. He couldn’t help but smile. She was the best thing that had ever happened to him. She was smart, beautiful, and caring. Suddenly the phone rang loudly, snapping him out of his love-induced trance. “Hello?” he stammered.
“Yo man, what’s up?” a familiar male voice asked.
“Ah, man, trying to find a shirt for tonight. *bleep* said she’d be wearing a red dress, and I have to find just the right red to match.” Ron replied.
“You’re kidding right? You’re going to match to go out? Man, you are whipped!” the friend quipped.
“You’ll understand when you find the right one. You’ll do whatever she asks to make her happy.” Ron said back, with a certain anxiety in his voice.
“Oh yeah, tonight’s the big night, isn’t it?” the friend asked, “are you sure you want to marry this girl? There’s no going back you know!”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” Ron said, “Now let me go so I can get the hell out of here.”

Ron could feel his palms sweating all during dinner. He had never been so nervous in all of his life. It was all he could do to not throw up. He kept checking to make sure that the ring box was still safely in his in his pocket, that it hadn’t fallen out each time he jammed his hand in to retrieve something. He was fumbling with everything, falling over curbs, and tripping over his words as if he was hooked on some euphoric drug. Dinner; conversation. Every time he looked into her eyes, he felt like the luckiest man on the planet. He could feel his chest tightening, it was hard to breath. All through the main course could he see the worry in her eyes. Coming on quicker now, he falls loudly onto the floor. His heart feels as though it’s going to burst. Ron closes his eyes as it sweeps over him.

Then Ron’s eyes open.

“I step onto the pier. I squint to see you. You look so far away, standing at the end, gazing out onto the ocean. I can’t help but smile. Even from this distance, I can’t help but get that feeling in my stomach, my palms start to sweat; I can’t believe you’re my girl.

So I start to walk towards you, your red dress becomes clearer, your hair blowing in the ocean breeze.
I start to run; the anticipation of your kiss is too much to bear. Closer and closer I come, I can almost smell the scent of your favorite perfume. No one smells like you. No one is as beautiful as you. I yell your name. I run faster.
Almost there now, you begin to turn around. I slow my pace. You turn around, and you are gorgeous. That smile. Those eyes. That look. It’s everything I could ever hope for, everything I’d ever want. When our eyes meet, I swear I am in heaven. I run as fast as I can to the end of the pier, nearly there now.
I blink my eyes in the summer sun. My eyes open and I’m there. I’m at the end of the pier, where my angel is. Just in that blink, I’m ready once again for that look. That look I get when I look into those brown eyes and see the love that you exude. The love you have for me.
Only this time you’re gone. I spin around and around. Where did you go? What happened when I blinked my eyes? Did the rest of the world die?
I stare blindly out onto the distance, scanning the horizon for any sign of you. Nothing but water. Water for miles and miles.
I start walking backwards, trying to make sense of it all. Step after step, but nothing.
Then a step, and then no pier. No wood. Nothing.
I fall.
Falling and falling.
I scream your name.
I close my eyes.
And I see that red dress.
For the last time.”

It drives me crazy when people try to sound smart and use words incorrectly. Here is a list of words that I hear people massacre on almost a daily basis.



Irregardless

People think it means:
Regardless.

Actually means:
Not a damned thing.

This is not a word. Now, we have no problem with making up words (if a particular scent can only be described as "fartalicious," we reserve the right to call it so). The problem with this one is "regardless" already means something isn't worth regard (that's why the "less" is there) so adding the "ir" to it means... it's worth regarding again? Who knows.

Peruse

People think it means:
To skim over or browse something.

Actually means:
Almost the opposite of that.

Peruse means "to read with thoroughness or care." If you peruse a book, you leave no page unturned. This makes sense when you consider the Middle English per use, meaning "to wear out or use up." Unfortunately, if you "consider the Middle English" very often when speaking, you're probably not exactly the life of the party.

Ironic

People think it means:
Any kind of amusing coincidence.

Actually means:
An outcome that is the opposite of what you'd expect.

So, if a porn star moved to Virgin, Utah, that would be ironic. If the same porn star bought a house in Boner Knob, Montana that would not be ironic.

Pristine

People think it means:
"Spotless" or "as good as new."

Actually means:
"Ancient, primeval; in a state virtually unchanged from the original."

It's therefore perfectly possible to have a pristine mountain of fossilized brontosaurus shit, but if you were to buff that mountain to a lustrous shine, it would no longer be pristine.

Nonplussed

People think it means:
Unperturbed, not worried.

Actually means:
Utterly perplexed or confused. It comes from the Latin non plus (a state in which nothing more can be done).

The misunderstanding would seem to stem from people making semi-educated guesses as to the word's meaning, which kind of sounds like it means "unruffled" or something like that.

Bemused

People think it means:
Mildly amused.

Actually means:
Bewildered or confused.

If you were to say "I was bemused by your dead baby joke," you wouldn't be saying the joke was funny. You'd be saying that you completely failed to understand it. You were following the story up to and including the bit about the trowel, but you'd lost the thread way before the Ku Klux masturbation climax.


Enormity

People think it means:
Enormous.

Actually means:
Outrageous or heinous on a grand scale.

War crimes are enormities. Extra-big bouncy castles are not.


Plethora

People think it means:
A lot of something.

Actually means:
Too much of something, an over-abundance.

It's the difference between:

"Dude, I am jonesing to go snort a plethora of medicinal-grade barbiturates right now."

And ...

"Dude, I just snorted a plethora of medicinal-grade barbiturates, and now there are hundreds of terrifying arachnids crawling out of my penis. They all have human lips."

Deceptively

People think it means:
Nobody is sure.

Actually means:
Nobody is sure.

Specifically, we're talking about when the word is used with some other adjective. Like if somebody says, "The turd pool is deceptively shallow," does that mean it's deeper than it appears, or not as deep?

If you're not sure, don't feel bad. The American Heritage Dictionary asked their word experts and they said they had no idea, either. So ... nobody knows.

"The sand loves when..the waves come
The sky can't wait...for the light of the sun
So how could you...look me in my eye
And not see what what i feel inside
Tell me how could you... doubt the fact that I
I love you...
I love you"

I feel forgotten and sad. Why is it so easy to never think about me again?