In Montana for a while. Finally got my blogger straightened out as well. My ulcer is killing me slowly. Not eating for 3 weeks sucks, and throwing everything up sucks as well. I've lost 8 pounds.
Went to Edisto yesterday and got a 100 degree sunburn on my legs, stomach, and chest. I am, however, the darkest person in Missoula.
I love you, Miriam.

"True Love"
The end of a friendship
means the beginning of a long journey.
Friendship is something so strong
and yet so fragile.
I question it in every form
and how strong it is.
Yet my questioning has led to the end of it,
and to the beginning of a long journey.
I wonder of this journey
and question where it will lead me.
To what depths will I go,
or what heights.
During this journey I think
of the friendship I lost,
and the friend I cared for.
I begin the journey and I look
and see a reflection,
not of my own,
but that of my best friend,
Miriam.
Is this what I'm looking for again,
this exact person?
I wonder of this image
and why I see it.
I remember her exact words, when I knew she
needed to stop her suffering
"I don't know how I would react if you left"
those were my exact words,
and that of a true friend who cared.
Of a friend who cared
and cares but is too tired to care anymore.
After that, I thought of her
and only her,
and what she had put me through.
Then at that moment I knew
it wasn't right for her to put me through this all,
to make me go through what I'm going through
and my journey.
Here I am on a quest,
wondering where I can find as perfect as her.
Here I am,
hoping that one day she will complete her life's dream
and never forget about me
and the pain I had during the last of our friendship.
In this journey I see that reflection everyday
to remind me of what I thought
was a true friend,
who will never die in my heart no matter what may come,
and I pray everyday,
that this girl will know that I always
loved her and never stopped.

posting is going to be very limited due to blogger not offering any type of assistance with helping me change my password. On to the rest of the show....

The State of Florida said I was crazy. They said staying in a prison for 3 days would make me better. I say I am crazy in Love. I lost my very reason for existing. I lost my girlfriend, my best friend, and more importantly, my soul-mate. I believe with every fiber of my being that Miriam is the girl I am spend the rest of my life with. She makes me whole. No matter what course of action I have chosen in the past, she is my future. Since I've been away, I feel as if my heart has been lost. I am empty, searching for a reason to breathe, a reason to live. I am sorry, Miriam. There were so many things I should have done.

I should have told you every minute of the day how much I truly love you.
I should have held your hand when we went places.
I should have should have always answered the phone when you called.
I should have taken more picture of us.
I should have gave you big kisses whenever you wanted them.
I should have never taken for granted the fact that you'd always want to be with me.
I should have tried to be more patient with you.
I should have come and seen you at work.
I should have never made you sad.
I should have never made you cry.
I should have been more understanding.
I should have done more things you like to do.
I should have taken better care of us.
I should have never let Tallahassee get the better of me.
I should have tried to get to know your friends.
I should have been nicer to Lauren.
I should have listened to you when you said you were unhappy.
I should have been more patient with your parents.
I should have never threatened to leave.
I should have made you my wife.

I should have done so many things. But I didn't do
enough, and now you're gone. I'm empty without you,
and each moment you don't want to be with me is like
poison. It makes me hurt so much that you could fall
out of love with me. You are my best friend, and my
soul mate.
I should have realized these things sooner.
I love you Miriam.

=====
----"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.
If we're in each other's dreams, we can be together
all the time.----"

Why does a broken heart make you wish for relief in death?

Aujourd'hui j'ai pense' que j'avais perdu quelque chose que jusqu'ici j'ai imagine'e pourrais ne jamais etre mal place'. Maintenant ma plus grande crainte est que je peux la perdre encore. Mes pense'es me hantent, comme la mort attend.


I apologize for the poor accents and lack of other french characters. blogger doesn't support it. so if you try and cheat and have a program translate it, it won't do all the words.