Made it back to SC today. It was nice seeing Crystal, considering I hadn't seen her in over a year. Talked to Amanda today, and she's planning on going back to Clemson to finish her undergrad degree. She's been in Germany for a long time. The tenative plan is for the 2 of us to live together in Clemson. I'd probably get more done living in Columbia, but at this point I'm too tired to think. My hand hurts still, and I'm hoping that it gets fixed soon. My ulcer is unbearable as well. On a better note, I heard from an old friend that I miss talking to a lot. Amanda Combs is doing well in LA, and I hope she'll continue to write. It's hard to believe she's still the little Ruffin girl that I shared so much with for so long.


"Understanding"

The pain that grips you,
The fear that binds you.
Releases life in me.
In our mutual,
Shame we hide our eyes.
To blind them from the truth.
That finds a way from who we are,
Please don't be afraid.
When the darkness fades away.
The dawn will break the silence,
Screaming in our hearts.
My love for you still grows.
This I do for you,
Before I try to fight the truth my final time.

We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together.
And that is real.

Can't wash it all away,
Can't wish it all away,
Can't cry it all away,
Can't scratch it all away.

Lying beside you.
Listening to you breathe.
The life that flows inside of you,
Burns inside of me.
Hold and speak to me,
Of love without a sound.
Tell me you will live through this,
And I will die for you.
Cast me not away,
Say you'll be with me,
For I know I cannot,
Bear it all alone.


Can't fight it all away,
Can't hope it all away,
Can't scream it all away,
It just won't fade away, No.

Can't wash it all away,
Can't wish it all away,
Can't cry it all away,
Can't scratch it all away,


But the imprint is always there.
Nothing is ever really forgotten.

"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."
"Because I'll die if you do."