Here is the intro to my short story, "Red".
also the original beginning.

--The dream I had tonight really shook me. All I can see
in my mind is your face staring back at me, your eyes
wide, your mouth open. You're straining to speak but
nothing comes out. I look down at my hand, and it's
covered in blood.
So I decided to take your advice. I started to write.
I am going to write a small novel/ short story about
it. Granted the premise may have been used, but I want
at least one person to really understand the way I
feel about you: and that person is you. I would do
anything for you. Broadcast it to the world, write a
book about it, paint it in a picture. Your love is my
guiding light. So here is the opening paragraph,
however in it's rawest form. It's tentively entitled,
"The Sea of Red".---

"Red, red, red”, Raymond thought to himself. “Why did
I wait so long to buy a shirt for tonight? I had all
week to do buy a damn shirt”. The truth was he was
swamped at work, and had missed several appointments
with friends because of it. He looked through shirt
after shirt on the rack, but none seemed to satisfy
him. Tonight was the big night, the night he had been
planning for a month. Dinner, dancing, and the biggest
question he would ever ask. Raymond flipped open his
phone, and saw her face staring back at him. He
couldn’t help but smile. She was the best thing that
had ever happened to him. She was smart, beautiful,
and caring. Suddenly the phone rang loudly, snapping
him out of his euphoric trance. “Hello?” he stammered.
“Yo man, what’s up?” a familiar male voice asked.
“Ah, man, trying to find a shirt for tonight. *BEEP*
said she’d be wearing a red dress, and I have to find
just the right red to match.” Raymond replied.
“You’re kidding right? You’re going to match to go
out? Man, you are whipped!” the friend quipped.
“You’ll understand when you find the right one. You’ll
do whatever she asks to make her happy.” Raymond said
back, with a certain anxiety in his voice.
“Oh yeah, tonight’s the big night, isn’t it?” the
friend asked, “are you sure you want to marry this
girl? There’s no going back you know!”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
Raymond said, “Now let me go so I can get the hell out
of here.”

To be continued...